


Dirty Little Secret

by simplylarry_stylinson



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bully!luke, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Selfharm!Ashton, hope you enjoy it, i don't know what to tag, may be triggering, selfharm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 12:18:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7757569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplylarry_stylinson/pseuds/simplylarry_stylinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please read with caution. This is my first story and I also wrote a version on wattpad that is a bit different. (Characters with different names, etc.) Please leave kudos and comments and maybe constructive criticism? Anyway, there is more to come and I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Dirty Little Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Please read with caution. This is my first story and I also wrote a version on wattpad that is a bit different. (Characters with different names, etc.) Please leave kudos and comments and maybe constructive criticism? Anyway, there is more to come and I hope you enjoy!

_Journal Entry One:_

Hey. My name is Ashton. I'm a joyful person who gives lots of hugs kisses. Huh, not. I'm just your average, moody teenager. I have my off days (Which are most of my days), I have my good days (which are very rare), and mostly all of my days I just want to curl up in a ball and die.

I don't know why I'm like this. I have a loving family (except for my brothers. They're dicks most of the time). I have a roof over my head. I just don't know why I'm like this.

Everything started in 9th grade. I had a friend since sixth grade. His name was Luke. When we reached freshman year in high school, he was immediately abducted by the popular kids for his love for football. I called him one day, asking him if he wanted to come over.

"Why would I ever do that?! No! Don't ever call this number again. Faggot!"

It hurt, let me tell ya. He was my only friend. But popularity got to his head and he ditched me. He must've started rumors or something because the next Monday at school everyone just stared at me as I walked down the school hallway.

Then I heard the _whispers.._

 _"I heard he still cuddles a teddy bear at night.._ " One said.

 _"He's such a loser! Like, he should just get a life"_ another said.

 _"I heard he made Luke have sex with him."_ That's what hit me in the gut. I just couldn't believe what I had heard. But I just kept walking to my locker, like I hadn't heard a thing. I had to stay strong through the day.

When I got home I walked calmly to my room. But when I shut my door and locked it, I let everything out. I'd heard about cutting before, but I never tried it. But now I felt as if I had to.

I grabbed my pencil sharpener and twisted the screw out and looked at the blade, wondering if I should really do this. I sucked it up and I cut five deep-ish cuts on both of my arms.

When I heard my brother, Harry, coming upstairs I quickly grabbed a roll of toilet paper and made a pretty thick wad. I applied pressure and and hid in my closet and tried to stop the bleeding. I picked up the wad and saw that it just kept bleeding. I started freaking out because it was bleeding a lot. Then I remembered something I read randomly. I have to apply pressure and if it soaks through I have to get something more and keep applying pressure I kept applying pressure and after five minutes I took off the wad of toilet paper to see, much to my relief, they stopped bleeding. I was glad to see that they stopped bleeding but I felt like I needed more pain.

But I didn't want to anymore. I felt like I had to, though. But I didn't. I realized I was stronger than this. But here I am, a Junior in high school and I still hide my three best blades in my phone case. They're my only friends. They help me, they care.

I think that's enough self pity for now..

Write later, promise,

Ash.


End file.
